Note to readers: In this post I am going to talk about my genitals and I am going to use the word pussy. Just wanted to give you the heads up. Now, read on! About a year ago I got together with an old friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while and immediately noticed she had certain glow about her. She told me that she had started a meditation practice called Orgasmic Meditation (Om for short) and that it was changing her life. She described Om as a partnered practice where a woman takes her pants off, lies down and butterflies her legs open, and her partner (a man or woman) sits to her side and slowly and deliberately strokes the upper left hand quadrant of her clitoris for 15 minutes with no goal but to feel.
My mind told me this sounded creepy but my body immediately told me something different. I felt a flush of heat through my system, a sudden tingling in my pussy, and a happiness in my heart. I was baffled but curious and overcome with the sudden knowing that this was something I was going to do and that it was going to change my life forever.
Throughout my life, sex and sexuality haunted me. Even though I was an adventurous and open-minded woman when it came to sex—I had dated woman most of my life and dabbled in the BDSM scene amongst other things—something was missing. I felt empty and dried up sexually, and most of the sex I was having felt tepid at best and like a big fake show with a lot of work involved at worst. At some point I grew tired of it all and decided to just stop having it.
At the same time, I always had the feeling that something would come into my life that would offer a path of healing around my sexuality—and when my friend told me about Om I sensed I had found it. I went home that night and signed up for the next how to Om class in San Francisco.
I didn't have a partner or anyone to ask to come with me, but I was told I could find an Om partner there if I chose to have an actual Om. The idea was terrifying, but the actual experience turned out to be quite the opposite. It felt wonderful to have someone put that amount of pointed attention on my pussy, and I could feel sensations that had been locked up in my body opening. I left the class feeling amazing.
But when I went home that night I sat down and burst into tears. My mind began to take over the beautiful experience I had just had with doubtful thoughts. What had I done? How could I have let a stranger touch my pussy? What was I thinking? These people were obviously crazy and I was crazy for having done this! I decided I was never going to Om again.
But, my pussy had other ideas.
That night I dreamt that about 40 starving feral pussy cats burst into my apartment and began clawing, wailing, and moaning at me for food. I looked around and all I had to feed them was small bowl of dried up cat food.
I woke up and understood. My pussy was starving, and dried up “food” was not going to cut it—I needed some true nourishment.
Now, I know this next part is going to sound weird, but all of sudden my pussy spoke to me. This is what it said:
I am dying for this undivided attention. I wish to be worshiped so I can become the queen I was always meant to be.
This is not some shit I could make up in my head, and I'm not the type of person who goes around having conversations with my pussy. Well, I guess I should say—I wasn't the type of person who went around having conversations with my pussy.
In that moment, I knew I had to keep Oming. I've been practicing Om about a two years now, and I'm so grateful I listened to what my body wanted instead of the fears in my head. I'll be writing more about how Om has benefited my life in later posts, but for know I will say that it has radically changed everything about my relationship with my body, being a women, sex, intimacy, men, and relationship.
I have been so moved by how Om has impacted my life that I decided to become a teacher and trainer of Om, and completed a 10 month coaching and Om training program this year.
Om is a path of deep healing around sexuality and intimacy—and I am honored to support people in starting an Om practice. If you are interested in learning Om and/or coaching in living a life based on true desire and aliveness, contact me for an initial chat. For more information about Om, private training, and to watch a heart-moving video about Om, click here.
For more information about coaching, click here.